drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
