Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
