It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
