He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
