I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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