The maid of honor just puked.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
