Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
