Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
