just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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