so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
