i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
