I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
