The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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