So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I understand Curling. That high.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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