Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
