she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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