If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
