he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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