call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was like eating out sand paper
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
PANTIES FOUND
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