he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
