I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she smelled like a LAN party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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