Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
