just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
