im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this just has baby written all over it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
