Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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