miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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