Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
