So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
