Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
