Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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