So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
