Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
