if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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