Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
