Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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