Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
