Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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