hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
