i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
