Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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