you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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