Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
