White coat. Heels.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
