$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
