My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I DEMAND FORESKIN
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
