at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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