At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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