so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
