You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
