Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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